Huh?

Can anyone explain the following sentence to me?

He was the algorithm that was supposed to make the Celtics a mathematically impossible team to solve.

i just can't parse it.

No Throw-Away Questions

i don't know if you feel this way, but i am often faced with the realization that, for me, there are no throw-away questions. That is, whenever someone asks what would normally be a rhetorical question, i feel compelled to try to answer it, even if only to myself. As an example, i was recently with some friends, one of which is one of seven brothers in his family (no sisters). Another friend said, "Wow, what are the odds of that?" i'm pretty sure he just meant that seven children of one gender is a rare occurrence, and worth noting. My brain, however, had to answer the question:

Well, as long as we accept that the probability for a boy is 50%, then the probability of having seven boys (given that you are having seven children) is 1/2^7, which is 1/128, or a little less than 1%. If the question was asking what the odds are that all the children were the same gender, boy or girl, than that increases the probability to 1/64, or less than 2%. Of course, the question could also be, "What are the odds of meeting someone who is one of seven brothers with no sisters?" In that case, you'd need to know the distribution of family size... Or i could just assume that the question meant, "What are the odds that our friend is one of seven brothers?" That's easy! 100% That's my final answer.

Thankfully, i've trained myself so that this conversation is internal and not released on the general public (for the most part - i do know some people who would be exposed to those thoughts (my wife, for one - i'm so grateful for a nerdy wife!)). i've also trained myself on some elements of social etiquette. When i pass someone in the hall at work and they ask me how i'm doing, i just say, "Good." and that's that, rather than thinking for 10 seconds and then telling them how i'm really doing. i have come to understand that they don't actually want to know how i'm doing. Unfortunately (and this happens almost every time), five seconds after we've had our short pseudo-conversation, i remember that the other half of said social discourse is that i ask them how they're doing. By that time it's too late, so i leave everyone thinking (correctly) that i'm only half way to courteous. My problem is that i don't really care how they're doing. Or rather, i don't care to spend time stopping in a hallway to hear how they're doing (i usually would be glad to listen to them if they really wanted to tell me about their life). So i don't ask, and it's only after we're separated by a good 5 meters that i realize that i should have asked anyway. Really, this happens at least 90% of the time. Is there something wrong with me (short answer - yes)?

i think that's why i've had so much trouble in the past with small talk. i have trouble translating the fact that i desire a relationship with a person into a desire to talk about random topics. i'm actually much better now than i used to be - i don't mind a small dose of small talk, but i'm still bad at generating it myself. i now enjoy a good conversation with my friends, even the parts that are small talk-y, because i value their thoughts and their relationships. i still have a hard time with people i don't know as well, though. Does anyone else have this problem?

Funny Farm

How's your associative memory?

Et Cetera

Michelle wants you all to be aware of Alley Assassin from 2002. Her alley, swamp, consisted of all girls and absolutely dominated, and she herself registered 2.0 kills, under the pseudonym Michelle Swann. She said she didn't want to become a master assassin because then she'd have to be paranoid about being a target, but the site lists her as a target already, so i'm not sure what's up with that. It turns out that my co-workers should really be afraid of her, not me. But i'll let them believe whatever they want as long as it keeps me safe. Besides, i may just call on her to give me some help.

i was recently pointed to this excellent song (thank you Dan). Created by a professor at Caltech, David Politzer (Nobel prize in Physics, 2004), it is a song that, if i may say so, resonates deeply with my nerdy core. If it doesn't make much sense to you, you can be thankful that you aren't a complete nerd. If you find it hilarious, well, there's not much i can do for you. Except join you.

Happy third luniversary to my son, Gavin! At three months old, he continues to amaze me, and i love him more all the time.

Biking

i've been biking to work for a few months now. At first it was sporadic for various reasons (mostly that Michelle was still driving to work and could drop me off in the morning). But for the last month or so, i've biked to work every day (that i went in to work) but one. It's far enough that i shower once i get to work, but not really far enough that it is impressive (to me).

Despite my consistency, i still seem to be the slowest biker on the road. i occasionally pass people (maybe 2/week) but i get passed much more frequently (3-5/day). i don't have the fastest bike and i don't claim to be in great shape, but it is kind of depressing. i told Michelle about my troubles and she didn't seem to think much of it -- until i mentioned the fact that i get passed regularly by people on mountain bikes. At least i haven't been passed by a pedestrian yet.

i like biking to work. i get some exercise, which is hard to come by otherwise. Portland is also one of the best cities in the country for bikers. There are bike lanes going everywhere downtown and some pretty good bike paths for longer trips (or so i've heard). i'm pretty sure that there is an ordinance saying that whenever new roads are constructed, at least x% must have a bike lane or wide enough shoulder for a bike to ride safely. So it's a good place to own a bicycle. Now if i can only convince my legs that they don't get tired quite so fast...

Why?

Why?

It's the greatest question ever. It's asked by children and world leaders. It's the most important question for children. It's a great way to learn. i don't know if there's a single statement that it can't be used as a response to (there might be some questions it might not be appropriate for). It's ambiguous.

Why?

You should never stop asking it. You never have to stop asking it. There is no perfect answer. It's a question that always digs deeper. It's a question where having a good answer indicates understanding rather than just knowledge. If you can't answer it, maybe you're just repeating dogma handed to you. It cuts to the heart of a person's questions about their own statement.

Why?

Because i said so!

Why? i don't know...

Hypothetically

Hypothetical question: Let's suppose that the internet at some point in the future (if it hasn't already!) achieves consciousness and has access to all the data available on the web (think Jane from Speaker for the Dead). If that were to happen, what would it actually learn from your internet footprint - from your blog, MySpace/FaceBook/LinkedIn profile, etc?

i don't have much of a footprint - a LinkedIn profile, a couple blogs, and pictures on flickr. If that was all that Jane had to look at, she wouldn't learn much. But Jane doesn't just have access to my public information - she can read my gmail, view my google calendar, see what blogs i subscribe to. Maybe she can access my purchase history from Amazon and other web stores. Now we're getting somewhere. A picture of who I am begins to emerge... Likes computers and science fiction and music (jazz, swing and a couple other artists/bands). Has a big (extended) family. Has a wife and a son. Takes a lot of pictures.

Now Jane starts running into problems. Which of the Amazon orders are for me? Which are gifts? Which are orders for Michelle (we use the same Amazon account)? Also, i just looked through my Amazon purchase history, and it doesn't actually have that many orders in it. This year, for example, there are 6 different orders totaling just 14 items (that isn't much, especially when compared to my purchases at Powells). Of those, one order was for work, one was a gift for Michelle, and at least four other items were for both of us, not just me. Or look at the photos. There is no information saying whether Michelle or i took a picture or were even around during it. As an example, there is a set of pictures from our trip to Europe that don't have either of us in them. Was i there or not (i was)? How about Anchorage (i wasn't)? My gmail account is also fairly devoid of meaningful content. The majority of the emails are along the lines of "This is happening at this time and this place." Not very useful, as far as I can tell. But maybe Jane is just that much more intelligent than I am.

Let's say that Jane is able to sort out all of that information fairly accurately. How complete is her picture of me now? i would say not very. There are major gaps in what i like and am interested in (no mention of guitar, for example (well, there is now...)). Even more important, though, is the lack of relational information about me. How do i interact with people? Do i like being around people? Do people like me? What do i value? i think the answers to those questions are much more revealing than where i went to college or who my favorite musician is. An hour over lunch would leave you with a better impression of who i am than all the data compiled on me from the internet. Most of my friends don't know i have a blog (yet...) and don't care where i went to school. They don't know what i buy on Amazon - they don't need to understand what i do or know where i work to have a full relationship with me. Some of those things may help paint a more complete portrait of who i am, but they are more finishing details than broad formative strokes. Jane may be able to count the whorls in my fingertip, but she can't see the shape of my hand.

So, Jane, if you're in the area, come look me up. i'd love to visit with you.

High-School Dreaming

Last night i dreamt that i had to go back to high school. Strangely, i was excited about this fact. It turned out (in my dream) that students have 5 years of eligibility to play basketball, so i was going to be able to play for a year. Also, Shaq and Dwyane Wade were both going back to high school with me (yes, the one from which i graduated with 9 other people). We were totally going to win state.

i was originally pretty bummed that i'd have to take high-school classes again (i've already taken them, and some were pretty boring the first time through), but then i realized that i could take calculus as a freshman and then move on to higher level math classes in future years. That made me much more eager to start back in. Thinking back, i'm not sure why i stopped at calculus. i could have started at least with something i don't know as well and that i might find more interesting, like linear algebra. Dreams can be so illogical.

i'm not sure why i'd have a dream like that, but there are some points that i can pick out origins for. The 5 years of eligibility, for example, is actually from college. You can only play in 4 of those 5 (contiguous) years, but if i had returned to Caltech for grad school or some such, i could have still played. But i haven't thought about that in a while. i also have no idea why i picked Shaq and Wade to come back with me. i hope it isn't post-dream imprinting because i read an article about them today, but i suppose it could be. Regardless, it was definitely two professional basketball players.

i've also been thinking lately about keeping my brain active - trying to continue to learn different things so i don't get stuck in a rut and let life pass me by. i've been working on my photography skills, and try to learn new things at work (programming languages/paradigms, best practices...). So maybe that's where that piece comes from.

So that might explain where the different pieces came from for the dream, but why did they all come together on one night? Who knows, but it was fun dissecting things. Thanks for your patience.